My 3rd engagement is over.

So in a depressive clean up the condo fit to keep my mind occupied and let the drugs take effect, I came across my songs.  I sing them accopello but I would one day like to put them to music. 

This is a suicide song.  It was written 7 years ago when my first engagement broke up as he had marriage cold feet (seems to be a trend) and I flew down to Australia to get over him but was depressed and came back 7 months later to discover my former fiance was dating my good friend and was planning on marrying her.  Devastated, I went to my old friends to help me get over him.  Some of them didn't want anything to do with me because I had abandoned them to go to Australia and they were all happily hooked up and didn't want me depressing them.  (Nice fairweather friends those). So, feeling lonely and rejected, my self-esteem plummeted and I was going to top myself and decided to write a suicide note.  It turned into a song.  I got drunk, called a friend and grabbed a pair of scissors to stab myself for them to find.  I ended up stumbling outside and cutting the lawn with the scissors until 5 minutes later, another friend, alerted by the first friend,  showed up to calm me down and sober me up.  That friend was my former fiance and he, his wife and myself are still close friends to this day.

Song Title:  GOOD-BYE
Composer:  Elaine A. Wilson, New Westminster, BC

CHORUS:
How would it feel to say the last good-bye
Would it be instantaeous or would it be a sigh
Would anybody say "It's not her time to die!"
Would anybody care?  Would anybody cry?

Loneliness, disparity.  Life goes moving on.
Wrapped up in their own lives, they forget that she is gone.
The plane touches down.  She wasn't gone that long.
But everybody's changed.  The world has moved on.

CHORUS:  How would it feel to say the last good-bye....

Pulling her life together, she finds a home
Has the job and has success but she is still alone
Attempts to contact old friends, she picks up the phone
Betrayal, judgements and sadness hits her like a stone.

CHORUS:  How would it feel to say the last good-bye....

Where is the joy now, that she once knew
Where are the good friends, the trusting and true?
Where has the love gone?  It's dark and cold and blue.
She's got the instrument but will she see it through?

CHORUS:  How would it feel to say the last good-bye....

Hope is a strong cause and I know you are smart
Keep on fighting and stand tall. Don't fall apart.
There is so much to live for.  You have to make a start.
You know someone cares out there.  You see it in my heart.

Still...
How would it feel to say the last good-bye
Would it be instantaneous or would it be a sigh
Would anybody say "It's not her time to die!"
Would anybody care?  Would anybody cry?

Would anybody care if I said my last good-bye?